Why I Left the GSC (continued): When Your Job Breaks Up With You

Just wanted to close out my remarks by saying that the whole process had been really stressful on Anya and me.

Being asked to leave a position that you thought you were doing a good job at is very emotionally wrenching. It kind of throws into question just how good a job you were actually doing. For someone susceptible to self-doubt, this was not exactly a welcomed experience.

It certainly made going into work every day a gut punching experience. On the one hand, it was hard going into work knowing that the people I met there and who I saw everyday were going to largely be people that I rarely, if ever, saw again, but it was also hard going in knowing that my work wasn't of a standard that warranted me being asked to continue on there. I don't want to make too much a big deal out of it, but it was a daily exercise in sucking-it-up and getting through.

But on top of it all, it was very stressful knowing that I was on the verge of being unemployed in a market where thousands of Texans were also unemployed and looking for work. Hearing stories of people who are unemployed for numerous months are common. My counselor once talked about employment as one of the big issues with a lot of his clients and how some of his clients are highly qualified yet unemployed people.

Anya getting word from her grad program that they were possibly letting go only made matters worse. Now we not only had the specter of one person being unemployed come September, we had two.

It wasn't until I went out for my first interview that I started to feel confident that I'd find something. I applied for a well paying admin job for another university department. I went in for three total interviews. Although I didn't get the job, I knew I was close. It was then that a lot of my stress was relieved. I thought, okay, well, it would suck not being employed in September, I came very close to getting a good paying job here on campus...let's see how I do with other jobs.

Each interview I went on only boostered my confidence. It wasn't long until the self-doubt and stress of not being employed turn into a kind of sadness that things were actually drawing to a close at the GSC. There were events and programs that I'd go to where I'd think, "well, this is the last time I'll probably do this." Or if I spoke to someone who came in pretty often, I'd think, "I wonder if this is going to be the last time I see this person."

I've jokingly said that leaving the GSC felt a lot like being broken up with. In my eyes, the GSC was a good job and I was doing a good job. Yet there must have been something there that wasn't a good fit. I guess to close out the break up analogy, the GSC kept the kids and I have a new place on the other side of town.

This is probably the last you'll hear from me on the subject. It's time to move on and meet the new neighbors. I'm enjoying my job more and more by the day.